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Behind the Scenes and Vulnerable

Some behind the scenes movement exploration from a rehearsal for my upcoming show “Sleep Codes & Coordinates”.

I have never been a “natural performer”. And despite having enjoyed many classes in many different dance styles over the years, it’s never been something that felt like it came easily to me. So many of my experiences are riddled with shame…feeling like I can’t keep up or catch on, like I’m too weak and too slow and uncoordinated…like if my brain is supposedly so smart why is my body so stupid? An imposter, a fool, unfit for this, not belonging…the list could go on. 

That is why it makes it ALL THE MORE WEIRD that despite all this, I’ve become so drawn to movement as a way to express myself. Like it literally makes zero sense. It’s like being a highschool student looking at your report card and seeing that math is your worst subject and then being like “My heart says engineering”. That is how I feel.

Including movement in my upcoming solo performance instead of just music is so scary for me. I am riding so hard on the edge of my comfort zone you guys. But It has been a great opportunity for me to delve into this pull I’ve been having to express myself with my body. Trying to build my vocabulary and find my voice. There is so much vulnerability but so much potential there.  

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